Pay Phone

Purgatory Hotline

Featuring RISD Professor and Poet, Claudia Ford

Join us for this Endless Beautiful session featuring the incredibly talented Claudia Ford. Dr Ford is on the faculty of Rhode Island School of Design and serves on the board of Orion literary magazine. Listen in as we dial up the creative spirit!

Claudia Ford

Dr. Ford has had a career in international management, development, and women’s health spanning three decades and all continents. Claudia holds a PhD in Environmental Studies and is on the faculty of Rhode Island School of Design. She teaches ethnobotany, indigenous knowledge, global sustainability, global business, environmental justice, and environmental literature in classrooms and workshops. Claudia is on the advisory board of an agroecology program, on 1500 acres of productive farmland in New England, that links ecological and social systems with agriculture for healthy food and farming communities. Claudia serves on the board of directors of The Orion Society, a community that publishes Orion literary magazine – caring for the planet by exploring the connections between nature and culture so that humanity might live on Earth justly, sustainably, and joyously.

Mud is Heaven

Thank you for contacting the Interdimensional Prayer Guild Network. Please dial 5 to begin your session.

*beep*

I’m sorry you have dialed a number that we do not currently recognize. Please…

*Beep*

Behind you, in the yellow box marked “close lid after opening” you will find the SP5876 Intergalactic Pogo Stick. Please grab the red and silver pogo stick marked with the nomenclature number SP5876 Intergalactic Pogo Stick.

Thank you.

This pogo stick can be activated by standing on its pegs and pressing the large red button marked Purgatory. Do not press the button before you are given further instructions.

You have pressed the button. Fortunately for you, the SP5876 Intergalactic Pogo Stick has a safety mechanism that doesn’t allow naughty wannabe intergalactic travelers from accidently activating it.

The SP5876 is rated for a maximum for 350 lbs. After you step on its pegs and activate the Purgatory button you will be jettisoned into space at the speed of light. You will then cross the spectral plane and find yourself on the surface of a planet known as Kansas in the Sigma Y galaxy.

Do not be alarmed. Kansas is nice this time of year. They have wonderful rivers filled with Salmon and a Wendy’s. Once you land on Kansas, you will be greeted by a gentleman named Dave.

Dave is a pleasant grandfather looking fellow with white hear and a broad smile. He always wears white starched shirts, non-slip shoes, and slacks.

Dave will inspect the SP5876 for you and ensure that it is ready to make the next leg of your journey from the planet known as Kansas to the next spectral plane. Mud.

Mud is heaven.

Once you’ve reached the mud, you’ve reached heaven.

Please place the pogo stick on the blue “x” outside of this booth, step on the pegs, and prepare to activate the SP5876.

Thank you for closing the lid on the yellow box. You would be surprised how many people totally forget that step.

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Go ahead and hit that button that you’ve been eyeing up this whole time.

And remember mud is heaven.